This summer, I wasn't as much of an introvert on the weekends as I was last summer. This got to me around week 7. I had a week in the bakery to help matters greatly. Then I was the Horsemanship counselor. That week was so stinking wonderful! I loved it all from the afternoon arena lessons to the movie in the barn and the camp out. I had been wanting to ride all summer, and I got my fix that week! :)
While I was enjoying myself that week and the week before, there were some things going on at home. My grammy was in the hospital overnight. That in itself is HUGE because she NEVER gets sick. My younger brother was going through some things too. I wanted nothing more than to go home for a few days, but I knew if I were to make that decision, I wouldn't want to come back to camp. I wrote some very private letters that week, and my campers saw me crying at one point during staff prayer groups. I was a little bit of a secret wreck that week.
Towards the end of the week, I needed to talk to Camie about my job for the next week. Honestly, I had no desire to be a family assistant. I can't explain it fully. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE family camp, but I just didn't want to assist one family. I think some of it had to do with my thoughts being at home. Camie also gave me a few other things to think about besides my job for the next week. I was at a crossroads, and I didn't know where to go or what to do.
After that meeting, it was time for Horsemanship chapel. After chapel is TAG time. I tried to sit and I did pray for a little while before heading off to the Craft Room where I knew Lu would be. I just needed to talk to someone who knew what was going on. She took me back to the corner in the Craft Room which had a desk uncovered thanks to Katie Riley. There, I cried a little bit. I told Lu all about my meeting with Camie. I told her about my discontent at the thought of being a family assistant. I told her more about what was going on at home.
Her response?
"You need to color! You just need to sit, pray, color, and be by yourself for as long as you need. I'll go get you a coloring page and colors!"
Let me guess, you weren't expecting that either. I just stood there shaking my head as she wandered off to get colors. In my head I'm thinking, "Coloring is not what I need right now..."
She came back with a box of colors and the little picture of the Armor of God that we had been using all summer for the little kids during chapel. I sat and sighed and began to color. Soon, Lu came back with her iPod and played Laura Story's Blessings.
I will typically write out my prayers. I love writing, and by writing out my prayers, I feel I am better focused. I decided to apply the same concept to coloring. I wrote out the words on top of each other as I slowly dressed myself in the Armor of God. I honestly don't even know how long I sat there, but when I left, I felt dressed and ready to take on whatever the next week would hold, even if I didn't have an exact answer yet.
Sometimes, all it takes is the right colors, the right song, the right picture, and the right spot. All these added up to the right way to spend TAG time.
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