Happy Tears

If you know me at all, you will know that I frequently use this term at camp.  I used it more so as a camper than a counselor, but I still use it on a regular basis.  Tonight I was driving home from seminar in Marshalltown.  I was tired.  I was ready for bed.  I was ready to get out of my teacher clothes and ready to get into a hot shower and big, comfy pajamas.  Every now and then I just need a good cry.  I knew I had one coming on for a while, and tonight it came on pretty strong.

I bawled happy tears as I drove home.  I shut off the radio and just let the tears and the words flow.  I can't get over how amazing student teaching is going and how I have seen God answer my early prayers about my placements.  These kids have made their way deep into my heart and I love them all so much.  Even when they don't listen.  Even when they all ask me the same question...too many times.  Even when they don't do their work.

I love them.

I love that each and every day they come in excited to see me.  I love that they love to read to me and listen to me read.  I love that they sell me Girl Scout cookies.  I love that they ask about my quilt, my cows, my dog, my life.  I love that they notice my jewelry and that they love to hear a story connected to certain pieces.  I love that they want me to come to their spring program.  I love that the girls waddle behind me every day after lunch because I told them I felt like a momma duck walking them back from lunch.  I love that we can joke, laugh, talk, and accept one another.

I cried happy tears for being able to know each and every kid.  I cried tears of heartbreak thinking about their home lives.  I cried tears of heartbreak thinking about how different my 3rd grade life was compared to theirs.  They have such different situations going on.  I cried thinking about my last week.  Yeah, I know that it is still 4 1/2 weeks away, but I'm already dreading having to say goodbye to these 22 children.